Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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