Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
