And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
