Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
