If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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