chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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