Yo dont text me then not text me
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
