just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
