You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
