I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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