good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
