i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
