A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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