I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
only you would photoshop your dick
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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