there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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