I CAN MOONWALK!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
