when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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