She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
