help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
