and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
