I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
