I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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