In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
