My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
