we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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