his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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