Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
