Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
