I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
