I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
