what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
