so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
