I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
