I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
