Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
