i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
