I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
