So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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