I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
