Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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