Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
