I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
two words: eviction party
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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