Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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