so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
