My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
