It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
