is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
