just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
