Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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