So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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